Good Riddance

It's been like this for weeks now in the comments and occasionally in my email: "Where's Steve, huh? What'd you do, dump him in the gutter somewhere? Huh? HUH?!? So where is he, dude?"

Okay, okay. Here's the deal: Steve's busy. He's not dead, he's not divorced, he didn't defect to North Korea, and he certainly didn't convert to the Old Amish Order and give up computers or booze. He's just busy watching naked webcam girls all day long.

So, while he's busy, you people are just going to have to put up with me. I'll be stepping up my blogging here as much as I'm able, and when Martini Boy gets the time, like Ahnoldt, he'll be baaaack. If anybody needs to reach me, just send an email to blog -at- willcollier.com (give it until Friday, the setup hasn't populated quite yet). I promise to read it, unless you're a representative of a deposed African dictator looking for an account in which to stow several million American dollars.

That's it for now, so quit reading and go have a drink. I know I will.

Yes, I’m back from vacation, and what a fun-filled vacation it was. I’m using “fun” here in its less-used meaning: icky health, new small business stress, office- and house-hunting, etc. Managed to lose ten pounds, which if you’ve ever met me, you know that I had at least that many to gain. But now I’m on the More Cream Sauce Please diet, and things are improving. Also, I’m sleeping again. It’s the little things sometimes, you know?

Speaking of little things, I’m getting my health back by doing healthy things. The weekend cigars? Gone. The evening martini? Banished to the weekends. Three proper meals a day instead of one big one. The Bowflex is ready for reassembly, just as soon as I recover from doing all those crunches. Am I complaining? Not at all. I might not be running on all eight cylinders yet, but at least I’ve switched to premium fuel.

It’s a little distressing though to finally get back to the chaturbate blog, only to find that Deborah Frisch has been hanging around. (If you don’t remember Frisch, it’s probably because you blacked it out. She’s the classy lady who made threats against Jeff Goldstein’s wife and son.) Last week, I posted a picture of my son last to let you know I was coming back. Frisch commented, “Did you hear ace of spades kicked the deck?”

No, Deb, I didn’t hear that. Although I must admit that I don’t often listen for whatever sound is made when playing cards abuse boat parts and/or English idioms.

The world seems to have gone to hell while I was gone, but we’ll have more on that later. Later enough, perhaps, that I’ll be back on my regular martini schedule. It looks like I’m going to need them. Hell, I might as well shake one right now, and maybe it will help me figure out if America is going through the 1930s again. Or if we’re coming up on 476 AD for the first time, and in a big old hurry.

It’s almost enough to cause a guy some stress.

This would be funnier if it wasn't so pathetic.

In case you didn't remember, Jefferson is the congressman who commandeered a National Guard squad and their truck in the immediate aftermath of Katrina so that he could recover, er, documents from his New Orleans home.

As it happens, the VodkaPundit investigative bureau has recently come into posession of faxed documents which we believe were at the heart of this matter. The crucial document reads as follows:

"Dear Congressman Jefferson,

Sorry for the complete lack of jasminlive blogging this week. I've been on travel since Monday morning (Vegas, and not for fun), and my hotel lied shamelessly about having free wi-fi.

I'm back home now, and hopefully some actual content will appear here in the near future.

My long-promised college football blog is finally up and running. The link is FromTheBleachers, and if you're so inclined, please head over and have a look.

For those of you who always wondered why the heck they were reading posts on SEC football at VodkaPundit, your wishes have been answered. I don't expect to be putting up much if any sports-related content over here from now on (but you're not getting rid of me entirely, so NYAAAAH!).

NOTE: For some reason, this post attracted a spambot set on ludicrous speed. I've closed the comments to keep it out.

On The Move

Sorry to have fallen off on posting lately. I wish I could say things were going to get better, but for the next three weeks they're likely to get worse instead. All apologies. I do promise to check in when I'm able, but those times are going to be few and far between for the balance of August.

Knock wood, I'll have something up this evening regarding yesterday's election results. In the meantime, thanks for checking in.

I have the feeling this whole anti-Wal-Mart thing isn't going to do much for the Democrats this November. But if it does, then maybe Democrats could get more rich people to vote for them by explaining the evils behind Neiman-Marcus.

Really, doesn't this new campaign strike you as yet another variation on the "poor people don't know what's good for them" theme? Except this time, the Dems have aimed their sights solidly on the Wal-Mart shopping middle class, too.

Four straight weeks of work-related travel end today.

I'm cooling my heels in an airport, but at least I've got free wi-fi. Football season is but a week away, and my football blog will be up and running literally any day now. In other words, life is getting better by the moment. If I can just make a (delayed once already) ASA flight this afternoon, everything's good.

I haven't been on line much at all this month, so help me out here--who's this other guy that started posting all of a sudden...?

UPDATE: My bride tells me she's a dead-certain Democrat voter this Fall. Assuming, that is, they can make her understand why she can't buy any more strappy sandals.